Top 10 Things - School

Top 10 Things

Reasons school must start again

1. The elements of nature have never been on our side anyway
2. Obama hasn't resigned yet
3. The extra-terrestrials have invaded. They are now our teachers and they want to suck out our brains as soon as they can
4. I was only kidding about the first part of number 3. Our teachers are human. But we still don't know their designs...
5. The media hasn't influenced the principal at all (obviously)
6. Somebody faxed me. That may not be a reason to start school again, but it's almost definitely a bad sign
7. They have trained our internal clocks to wake us up earlier for these nine months anyway. Curses...
8. They just finished brainwashing the summer school students, and they weren't completely satisfied. As usual
9. Unicorns no longer exist. Proof? There would've been an epic battle between the power of good and school. But the human race hasn't seen this battle since Noah's ark when he forgot to get a pair of Unicorns.
10. I'm writing a blog post about it

Get Ready For Random

BEHOLD!

The mighty albatross. See how it spreads its wings in pure majesty. Watch as it leaps, flaps, and soars into the distance. Off into the glowing sunrise. Or maybe it was the solar eclipse...

I wish I had a camera right now.

Because some things can't just be captured in your mind. Because eventually, no matter how hard you try, it's going to evade your memory. Because sooner or later, the stars are going to fall from the sky, creating a swirling, awe-inspiring rush of wind and imagination. Because, just like those stars, you too want to be free.

When you think of pencils, where does your mind lead? Haha! Pun not originally intended. Although, when you read back over it, it's kind of funny :)

I'm laughing right now. Why? Because I'm staring at a black, twisty chord connected to my house phone land-line. Don't ask me why.


Orange diamonds glitter in the sky. Deep velvet blankets the air. If you really want to fly, why aren't you up there? If the seagull sun doesn't impress your view, then go back home. Because I'm stuck here like glue.

Sometime in life, we're all going to have to face the unexpected. For me, who knows when that will be? Not you.

But I know when you will be caught off guard in your life.

Right now.

No drugs were consumed in the making of this post.

Or Maybe I'm Just Dreaming

Silence
It's a strange thing. A thief to come and steal away any emotion the sound wishes to give to you. To send to you. To implant in you.

Wishes
Can you ever really be sure what a wish is? Is it the bidding of the stars? Or the sky coming down to color the trees, the grass, the birds, the very substance that you've been so longing to have?

The grass
It's flowing beside you. Long and smooth, almost silky it seems. It blows with the wind, bending again and again, colored a deep ingrained green by the dreams of your future self.

Dreams
Inside your head, they are blurry visions of your past, present, and future, all in one, quick sense of ethereality seen through a misty fog. Dreams never start at a prepared spot, and they never end when you wish them to. But what of when you don't dream? Where do the visions go? Lost in an alternate dimension void of color? Perhaps outside, to the real world.

Outside
There you are again. Back in the long, flowing grass. But you're not in their midst. You're hovering above the ground in an almost surreal sense of wonder, floating on a cloud, toned pink by the sun's dying rays as it dips behind the mountains.

The rays
Touching you, but unreachable. Why does the sky mock you so? Leaving yourself, you prepare to touch the atmosphere. But you can't. It is forbidden.

Preparation
A vague sense of accomplishment before you have even begun. An achievement for the sights in your soul. But after the preparation comes your real challenge.

The soul
As you wonder, you morph. And your mind leaves your body, floating away with no control of speed or direction. Is it just your imagination?

Imagination
It's all in your head. But why must it stay there? Give it a chance! Bring those dragonflies away from the mountain tops to dwell in the cave of spirits and live to do your bidding. Send the comets on gas giants who so proudly orbit, and make them obtainable. Send your mind back to your body.

And here you are again
Back. Seeing out of your own eyes instead of a misty haze, gazing on everything. Walking on your own legs instead of drifting in the breeze. Feeling. Smelling. Hearing.

But thinking?
No. It's all the same.

Or maybe I'm just dreaming...

The Saltwater Room

I opened my eyes last night, and saw you in the low light. Walking down by the bay on the shore, staring up at the stars that aren't there anymore. I was feeling the night grow old, and you were looking so cold. So like an introvert, I drew my over shirt around my arms and began to shiver violently before you happened to look and see the tunnels all around me running into the dark underground.

All of the subways around create a great sound.

To my emotion fatigue, farewell. With your ear to a seashell you can hear the waves in underwater caves, as if you actually were inside a saltwater room.

Our time together is just never quite enough. When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home. What will it take to make or break these ends of love? Only time.

Can you believe that the crew has gone and they wouldn't let me sign on? All my islands have sunk in the deep, and I can hardly relax, or even oversleep. But I feel warm with your hand in mine when we walk along the shoreline. I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow. We'll turn off all of these lights and set this ballroom aglow.

So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love? All the time.

Our time together is just never quite enough. When you and I are alone I've never felt so at home. What will it take to make or break these ends of love? Only time.

When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of? If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?

So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love? All the time.

All the time.

Just Wondering...

Are blogs supposed to be about experiences that I've had? Are blogs supposed to be about writing down my feelings? I know I've had a blog for about a year and a half now, but I just have to ask, am I doing this right? Not that it matters. I like posting random things. Keeps you on your toes... But still. It seems as though I'm, shall we say, different?

Good :) Let's keep it that way. But ya know...

I was just wondering...

The Near Future According to Trevor

It'll all start with cheese...

It always starts with cheese, right? Well this time will be no exception.

As we all know, there are many different types of cheese. Pepper jack, cheddar, american, goat, etc. But as we may NOT all know, cheese forms out of either a) plants, or b) pre-mature baby animals. Today, the cheese incident happened because of b. That's right. Pre-mature baby animals. In a black hole.

4.6 Billion times the size of the sun

So for everybody to fully understand the mind boggling numbers, let me just compare Earth to the Sun. How many Earths do you think can fit inside the sun? Well, according to something I heard yesterday, approximately 1.4 million Earths could fit inside the Sun. Or something like that... So anyway, this is the size of our Sun. Recently scientists have discovered that there is this black hole 56 million light years away from our puny planet. So how large is 4.6 BILLION? Well, let me put it this way. You could fit 4.6 BILLION SUNS INSIDE OF THIS BLACK HOLE. Now, 56 million light years seems very vast and far away. But in universal terms, this black hole is basically right in Earth's backyard. So, are we going to die? The answer is obvious.

Duh!

But most likely not by getting sucked into this black hole. Odds are you'll probably die either by a truck, or an ominous looking cliff, or maybe even a rabid panda bear (although sightings of these pandas are rare).

But I'm getting off of the point. We were talking about pre-mature baby animals creating cheese, yes? Right. So pre-mature baby animals all start in a black hole (as we also all know). And these pre-mature baby animals that are developed in black holes create what we Americans like to call, Cheddar cheese. BUT! Unbeknown to man, this black hole 56 million light years away from us, which is 4.6 BILLION TIMES THE SIZE OF THE SUN is mass producing pre-mature baby animals like polygamist rabbits. So by the time we get this Cheddar cheese from this enormous black hole, scientists predict that one block is bound to be the size of western Canada.

Unfortunately, Canadians don't like dabbling in American science, and like keeping to themselves. Therefore these Canadians will have no idea where this ginormous cheese block came from, and they will be forced to blame China. Because who else mass produces cheese the size of western Canada? Before long, GIANT CHEESE BLOCKS WILL BE FALLING TO THE EARTH LIKE METEORS COMING TO DESTROY THE WORLD. Many people will assume that the Mayans were correct after all and will run around in circles, screaming at the top of their lungs.

China, however, will not be fooled because, even though Canada has convinced the world that those Chinese are up to a conspiracy to destroy the world by cheese, China knows that they are not mass producing these destructive blocks of orange food. So China will soon send up super cool and extremely Asian ninjas up to the Hubble telescope and they will take control of it. Soon they will figure out that there is a big mass of NOTHING in the middle of NOWHERE (don't ask me how anybody figures out where a black hole is. I'm only predicting the future here, not answering sciencey questions). The Chinese will immediately believe that this big mass of NOTHING must be mass producing huge pre-mature baby animals, thus creating ginormous blocks of cheese coming to destroy the Earth.

The Chinese will then construct a battleship as large as India so that they can launch it into space to destroy this black hole by launching enough material into this big NOTHING so that it becomes a SOMETHING, thus preventing any more production of giant cheese blocks and ultimately saving the Earth. Unfortunately, the rest of the world will still think that China is behind this, so China will be forced to build this battle ship all underground. Since China has so many resources though, they will be able to build this battle ship as large as India in under 3 months. The launch date will be 5 hours after completion of this ship, and they will name it "驅逐艦無中生有," which translated means, "Destroyer of Nothing."

The Chinese will launch the Destroyer into the atmosphere, miraculously dodging all of the falling cheese blocks that are as large as the ship (just cause they're Asian). Because of the immense thrusters on the ship it will take less than .05 seconds to leave the atmosphere of Earth, and only 6 days to reach the black hole 56 million light years away.

Unfortunately, the Chinese will put their whole population onto the Destroyer. And because black holes are immensely powerful, (not to mention all of the pre-mature baby animals inside) it will only take .1095928485 seconds for the Destroyer to be sucked inside. Thus causing an immediate extinction of all Chinese life forms.

While back at planet Earth...

Everybody will still be screaming and running in circles, while the houses and cottages will all be crushed by giant blocks of cheese and random fires will sprout from the most random places like in the middle of the ocean or on a cloud somewhere over eastern Turkey. Then everything will seem like it freezes in mid-movement and somebody in South Carolina will shout, "Hey everybody! What about those French people? Don't they like cheese?" And everybody around the world will be able to hear AND UNDERSTAND this South Carolinian. Then everything will go back to its normal speed, but the Americans will use one of their fancy telescopes and check on France, and sure enough, it'll be the only place in the ENTIRE WORLD that isn't covered in cheese.

So with time, large cranes and immense space ships will be built to transport all of the cheese blocks to France, where the French will devour all of the cheese instantly. Unfortunately, without the Chinese, progress in building these immense space ships and large cranes will slow considerably, but they will get done eventually.

Thank you for listening. Now do not be scared by the immense accuracy of my predictions. That is why they call me a predictor. So that people will not be frightened nor surprised by what is about to happen.

Brace yourself.

Top 10 Things - Captions

Top 10 Things

Great animal pictures that are just begging for captions

1. "Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all day! And night! Actually, thinking about it, I'll be here the rest of my life! And now the next thing I'd like to sing..."

2. "Are my pupils dilated enough now? Or should I stare into that camera light a little longer? Oh, what's that? Shift my pose? Ok... This good?"

3. Left: "Hey, Jack! Look at what I found! It's... I don't know. Oh wow... We sure are high up..." Right: "I can't believe we were classified as cats..."

4. "Hey you two! Get down from there! Especially you Jack, don't make me tell your mom! I know how dangerous your daydreaming can get!"

5. Top: "Mmmm... Your hand smells good, mate. But how come Joey here gets all the food? Blimey! He doesn't even want it!" Bottom: "I can't believe we weren't classified as cats..."

6. Left: "How did we get ourselves into this mess? Well, we can try jumping right? What's that thing the humans always say? Cats always land on their feet right?" Right: "That's only when they're looking. For some reason we never can do it when they're not looking... Man I hate being a cat."

7. "How's it lookin', doc? Anything wrong with my throat? No? Whew! What, what's that you say? Lions aren't supposed to have white fur? No! My parents just said I was special!"

8. ~Grunt~ "Paparazzis..."

9. "I knew I shouldn't have gone for that pre-killed meat on a suspicious looking string attached to a hook. But hey! On the upside, I now have all the time I need to wonder about how the heck I got classified as a cat..."

10. Top: "Dog pile!!" Third to bottom: "WE GOT HIM BOYS!" Second to top: ". . ." Second to Bottom: "Ugh... Who thought that... this was... a good... idea?" Bottom: "Great teamwork guys. Can I finish that fly casserole you guys so rudely interrupted me while eating by ambushing me all of a sudden?"