Parker walked in. “Hey everybody!” He shouted. “Time to get crazayzay!” Nobody really knew what that word meant, but they all cheered and threw up their hands and started dancing. They were at a dinner festival with the best food around. The year was 2043, and everybody had superpowers because in 2038, the new government, the S.U.S.A. (Semi-United States of America) decided it would be totally awesome to start human experimentation zo that everybody else could benefit from new, engineered genes. When they had succeeded, they handed out superpowers like candy on Halloween night to everybody that wanted them, except for people with a criminal record, for obvious reasons. Naturally, a good majority of the S.U.S.A. wanted superpowers, so they practically broke down the Grey House doors to get them. We hear stories about back in the day when democracy was still alive that it used to be called the White House, but now, covered in ashes and soot form the ruins and craters surrounding it, it is anything but white.
“Attention everybody,” spoke Parker. “We have a problem. The S.U.S.A. has become too corrupt and therefore must be overthrown.” Everybody quieted down as they comprehended his words. “I’ve found startling evidence that the government has implanted within each superhuman gene a mind control switch. All they have to do is press the big red button and BAM! You’re under their control.” A cry of alarm went through the crowd, and one of the guests spontaneously burst into flames. People around him screamed, but he soon extinguished himself. That was his superpower.
“I will take three of you with me to carry out this secret mission we must accomplish if we are to gain peace once again. I want Ezreal, Elise, and Ryze all to join me.” The three of them stepped forward, or rather, Ezreal teleported forward. The other two walked like normal. “Let’s go.”
They were at the Capitol within seconds, due to Ezreal’s teleportation.
“It’s going to be tricky,” cautioned Ryze. “We should make a plan.”
“Naw,” yawned Elise, and she stood up. “Let’s just get this over with.” Ryze gave her a glare and she apathetically sat back down.
“Here’s a blueprint of the Grey House,” said Parker, pulling out a holographic card. “We’ll enter from here,” he suggested, pointing at the balcony.
“It’s cold out here,” complained Elise, wrapping herself up in her jacket. “I hate the wind.”
“Then let’s get inside!” said Ezreal with a smirk, and he vanished in a puff of dull golden light. Three seconds later he was back. “You guys coming? Sheesh. Slow-pokes.” They all grabbed on to him and suddenly they were on the balcony. Ryze looked around and noticed a piano. How odd. They cautiously crept inside, sending Elise to scout ahead.
“It’s just because I’m small, isn’t it?” she complained, and transformed into a spider. The other three waited insolence until she returned thirty minutes later. “What exactly was I looking for?” she asked. Ryze lost his patience.
“The big red button, you flawed little spider!” he raged. “We have to disable it!”
“Ah,” she said. “I found that, but there were a lot of people around it, so I just pushed it.”
“YOU WHAT?!” they all exclaimed.
Suddenly, Ryze’s and Ezreal’s eyes turned white, and they stared blankly at Elise. She laughed. “Now you are all mine! You will all bow to the Spider Queen!” She tossed her head back and cackled evilly, while a clap of thunder conveniently echoed in the background, and it randomly started to rain. As she stopped laughing and let down her head, she noticed that Parker was looking at her with a different expression.
“You fiend!” exclaimed Parker. “You witch! It was all for honey! It was you all along! You fed me this information just so that I would bring you here and you could control everybody!” Elise laughed again, but then realized that Parker’s eyes weren’t white, and he had complete control of himself. It was too late, Parker was already running at her, and tackled her to the ground. He wasn’t exactly sure what he hoped to accomplish by doing this, but he wrestled with her as it began to rain harder, and lighting flashed all around. Finally Parker subdued her by pinning her against a wall with a knife to her throat.
“How… Why are you not under… the spell?” Elise gasped.
“Because I wasn’t a fool,” shouted Parker over the raging storm. “I didn’t trust that the government had good intentions when they handed out superpowers. Good thing I never took one!” And with that, he stabbed Elise.
…Right in the arm. She squealed. “Ow! Ow that hurts! Cut it out! I won’t be bad anymore, I promise!”
“Okay,” Parker said, and let her go. “Let’s go back inside and disable that big red button so that everybody will be normal again.”
“Alright,” she whimpered, holding her arm tenderly, and they went inside as the rain suddenly stopped and the sun came out.
And so, the world was saved by Parker Skousen, because he had the guts to stand up for what was right. Not everybody can be super, but those who are given the chance for power and turn it down are the real superheroes. This concludes The Epic Story of Awesomeness.
FIN
