Turtles Are Immune to Water Balloons

Hello everybody, and welcome back to my blog. As a few of you may know, not too long ago I got my wisdom teeth out, and it was quite the experience. It was pretty miserable not being able to eat, like, anything for about a week... but you know, life goes on. Anyway, shortly after arriving home from the surgery, my mom gave me her laptop so that I could write. I had asked her before the operation if she would do that, mostly because I just wanted to see what would come out if I tried to sit down and type while I was high. This is what came of it.

DISCLAIMER

What you are about to read has not been altered in any way since the first drafting of this Word document.
Thank you.

My mouth is really dry and it tastest like throw up because I think I threw up in the car. Something was really funny in the office, but I was in a really nice soft chair with a soft blanket. My mom told me to stop laughing but I don’t know why I was laughing or why she even told me ot stop laughing. Wow! it’s 11:00 already. It started at 800 and I was really nervous because I really don’t like needles. But the doctor said that there would be no needles and there would just be a tube that went into my vein. I didn’t laugh at him, but I should have because how could you get the tube into my vein without a needle?? It doesn’t make any sense, doc. It really hurt when he put it into my arm and I was hoping I would be out in a snap. But I didn’t hear any snaps and it kept hurting and then they put an oxygen mask on my nose like I was going to die and I didn’t want to die. But I didn’t obviously because I am writing this. Then after like a minute I couldn’t feel my arm and then it was cold and then I was in a big soft chair with a really warm blanket. It was so nice. But my arm still hurt and I thought the doctor was still trying to find my vein. But when I took the blanket off there was something taped to my arm. Thanks a lot doc, now I will have to pull the tape off of my arm hair too, just like everybody at school thinks is funny to put tape on my arm. It’s not funny it hurts. But it’s okay.

Hahahahahahaha guess what I am on laundry this week but I just found a great excuse to get out of it. MOM I CAN’T FEEL MY CHIN. Some turtles are floating through my mind or something because Taylor Swift is telling them that she can’t ever ever ever put them back toghter. Poor turtles. I wonder if turtles know how to throw water balloons. If I ever had a water baaloon fight with a turtle I don’t know who would win because I think turtles are supposed to get wet or else they die. So I would have to get it wet a lot. But it has a shell so it would just splash on its shell. Oh well maybe I won’t have a water fight with a turtle I don’t want to be an animal hater.

My mouth is so dry it feels like somebody put a bllowdryer in my mouth and it turnd on and made it like a desert. Oh my mom is so great she just gave me some water and that felt really good. Except I don’t know if I am going to throw up again. I hate throwing up it’s so gross. I feel completely normal I don’t know why some people get all crazy and stuff after their wisdom teeth. I just feel super dizzy like I am going to fall over even though I am sitting down. Do you know how hard it is to walk? I never realized how hard it is to walk when you’re dizzy and have gauss in your mouth. Ew I hate gauss. Who even thought of that idea? It’s like, “Come here little boy let me put this super dry piece of cloth in your mouth and watch you try and talk. Hahaha! see? You can’t do it, you silly little boy.”

I’m so sad I can’t eat any food. I’m so hungry this is worse than fast Sunday because on fast Sunday you don’t have gauss in your mouth and I still can’t feel my chin. This is so weird because when I touch it it feels like it’s not even mine. It’s just a funny feeling bunch of nothing where my chin is. I tried to lick my chin but I can’t touch my tongue to my chin. My brother Jaden used to have a really short tongue and it made me laugh because he couldn’t stick it out very far hahahahahaha. But then they clipped something in his mouth and now he can bring it out of his mouth. Tongues are so weird. What even are tongues made out of? I’m pretty sure it’s not skin. Tongues are kind of gross too because it’s just like a little pink flappy thing inside your mouth and it does whatever it wants and it gets in the way of your teeth when you’re trying to eat like it’s saying, “Hey teeth, I’m flapping here, do you mind? It hurt when you bit me.” And then I get mad because even though it was my own fault for biting my tongue, it felt like it was ITS fault for being in the way. GO BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG TONGUE.

It’s a pretty day today. Theres a blue sky and it’s pretty warm for January, even though it’s warmer in Mexico. I’m looking at two candles right now and I don’t even know why we have those tow candles in our house. They’re never lit. They just stay there all day being unlit.

I’m really tired. I woke up this morning worrying about being poked with a needle because I hate needles. But it turns out the doctor said there wasn’t even a needle to put me to sleep, Just a tube. It didn’t make sense to me but he had a lot of plaques in his office with certificates and stuff so I think he knows what he is doing. My lip feels huge. My mom says I’m not swelling but I feel like my lip is a balloon. Please don’t pop it I need my lips for when I can eat food again. I’M SO HUNGRY I JUST WANT FOOD THAT I CAN EAT. But I’m afraid that I will throw it back up. THat’s dumb I’m not even sick and I’m throwing up. It’s okay guys, I’m not contagious you can still touch me.

My hair is so long and it’s starting to do its own thing now. Ms. Nelsen says I can’t cut it but I think I am going to cut it because it gets so messy. I don’t want to grow a beard either. I only like them when they are on other people. But it’s too scratchy.

Oh my gosh my lip is so huge I just know it. I bet my mom is lying to me. Actually I don’t think that because my mom is too good to lie. I have such a good mom I love her. Everthing I see is two things. I can’t read my writing because there are two words where there should be just one word but it’s still the same word. This is really uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time. Minus the gauss and the gross taste in my mouth I think is throw up, I feel great. My mom put a spiderman blanket on me and I’m resting on a lot of pillows. I look like a nun because I have an ice pack on my head but it keeps sliding off because of my hair. I’m really tired. But I can’t sleep yet because my friends said they would come visit me during lunch! So I have to stay awake for them because I love seeing my friends. I don’t care if they laugh at me because that’s what friends are supposed to do. I also really like Jaden. He has become a really good friend to me lately and I like him. We used to fight when we were like ten, but now we don’t and we just tease each other and laugh. I like it when we get competitive with each other because I usually win :) Unless it’s something that he is really good at like Chinese, but we’ve never had a Chinese competition because I don’t even speak Chinese.

Anyway I think I am done writing. My mouth is really dry and I want some water. At least I didn’t have to go to school today! Yay! Okay bye.