I'm A Bus Rider

You get out of school, jump up and down for joy, and then hop on the bus. It's a routine we've done since elementary school! Buses aren't foreign to us. The big yellow "twinkles" that everyone sees driving down the street between 2:15 and 2:45 PM. The annoying yellow vehicles that all of the soccer moms driving somewhere in a hurry hate because of the infernal traveling stop signs attached to the monster-like transportation aids. Like, why do I have to stop? Children? Bad excuse.

For some reason, everybody loves to sit in the back of the bus. Don't ask me why, or how the trend started, but I made a list of people that like to sit back there. Allow me to share with you folk:

-Kids who have spiky hair
-People with runny noses
-Alien lovers
-24/7 gamers
-Poodle-walkers
-Contractors for fathers
-The kids who always have wifi
-Talkers
-Short people
-Left arm baseball catchers
-"One-man's-trash-is-another-man's-trash-as-well" people
-The half-earbud wearers
-People who don't capitalize first letters. Or their "I's."
-People with super sniffers
-Pringle eaters
-Grandpa lovers
-Cockroach vanquishers
-Kids who still believe in cooties, but are dying to be infected
-Vuluvalzvlavlazva blowers (you know, those things they play at the soccer World Cup)
-Sand castle kickers
-People with photogenic pinkies
-Sneaky night game players
-Prefer Gatorade over Powerade
-And more, if you ask them yourself

So if you want to sit in the back of the bus, you gotta fit that criteria. Otherwise they will eat you alive, chew you up, and stick you under the seat like used gum. (Which is probably untrue, but I wouldn't risk it) Also carry your wits about you when riding buses. You never know when you may need to be witty. Just saying.

But I for one do not sit in the back of the bus. You gotta stay alive in this world, after all. Therefore, I'm more of a mid-to-front area sitter. Because generally, that's where the least amount of people are, and if you don't have to talk to anybody and make yourself look like a fool, why talk?? Nope. I prefer to sit and look out the window, watching the houses and shrubs go by as my knees dig into the seat in front of me.

Farewell for now, kind blog readers. May your bus rides be ever more enlightened, and if too many people start coming on the bus, just know that I for one will be leaving to drive myself.

But as for now, I am a bus rider.