Top 10 Things - Calling In To Work

Alright, before I post this, I just have to clarify that I did NOT write these. I just saw them and thought that they were so ridiculously awesome that I just had to post them. The end. Here it is.

Top 10 Things
Ridiculously Awesome Reasons For Calling In Sick To Work

1. I was spit on by a venomous snake.

2. Someone put LSD in my salad.

3. A groundhog bit my car tire, causing it to go flat.

4. Sorry, I won’t be in for three days. Went to see my sister off on her cruise to the Bahamas… darn ship left with me still on it. Captain refuses to turn back.

5. I won’t be in today. My home is flooded and I’m currently standing on the dresser in my second story bedroom. Thanks.

6. The blankets were too heavy for me to lift this morning and I was stuck in bed all day.

7. I lost my car keys skiing and I can’t leave until I find them.

8. Someone dumped a truckload of sand in front of my driveway so I won’t be in today.

9. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine at Wal-Mart.

10. Hello, I’ve used all of my sick days and I’m calling in dead.